Sep 23, 2025
We bring you the latest news from the LORD.
Leaked Memo Leads To Huge Misunderstanding, God Admits
Classy Food Reviews - Pizza Roll PizzaSep 21, 2025
Admittedly, not really breaking new ground with this one. Sorry.
Fuck You, We're Putting Ads On The FridgesSep 18, 2025
We here at Samsung took one look at the state of the world and thought, 'Yeah, we can make that worse.'
- R.K Movie Review Round Up - Volume 3
May 24, 2025
Thunderbolts*, Fight or Flight, and Final Destination Bloodlines
Classy Food Reviews - Italian Four Cheese Cheez-It PizzaMay 20, 2025
I know "there is no such thing as too much cheese" is a fun thing to say...but sometimes there is a thing as too much cheese. Maybe? Is that so crazy?
Grocery Stores Ranked Based On How Much Anxiety They Give UsMay 18, 2025
Those grocery delivery services are expensive. Until R.K turns a profit we're stuck shopping for our own groceries like suckers and it is the worst.
Classy Food Reviews - McCrispy StripsMay 11, 2025
We got a real McProblem here. These things are not good and that has a big McImplication that we seriously need to McConsider.
Stay The Fuck Away From My Free Fluoride, You Creepy Fuck. An Open Letter to RFK Jr.May 6, 2025
Goddamn old-ass-leathery-ass-baseball-mit-face-havin-sommbitch. Don't you rip my zip. Don't you yeet my treat. Don't you smother my watery lover.
- R.K Movie Review Round Up - Volume 2
Apr 30, 2025
Warfare, Sinners, and...jeez why can I never remember the third one...hold on..hold on...its like a sneeze uhhh...The Amateur! That's it.
Pontiff Pick'em - A Guide To The College of CardinalsApr 23, 2025
JD Vance may not have killed the Pope but he sure as heck didn't make him live any longer so now here we are.
Classy Food Reviews - Cinnamon Toast Crunch BaconApr 14, 2025
Shit like this is why Jesus ain't never comin' back, no matter what.
More Stoner-themed Marketing Ideas For Our Friends At Smucker'sApr 12, 2025
Smucker's still refuses to return our calls but maybe some free marketing ideas can change that.
Dire Wolves and Other Returned Animals You'll Be Able To Eat SoonApr 10, 2025
As always, it's a good time to be on the top of the foodchain.
- R.K Movie Review Round Up - Volume 1
Apr 9, 2025
Mickey 17, Black Bag, and uhh...shit what was the third one...Working Man! A Working Man? Doesn't matter.
Supreme Court Gives Thumbs Up to AEA Use, Provided Administration 'Kangaroos It Up A Bit First'Apr 8, 2025
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and then you have...terrifying executive overreach, I guess.
Nintendo Gives Up, Goes Sequential As Last Fond Memory From Your Childhood DiesApr 6, 2025
At least they didn't pull a Microsoft and call it the Switch720 or some shit.
Soon-to-be King of Atlantis DeSantis Backs Chemtrails Ban - Supervillains UnimpressedApr 5, 2025
R.K sat down with a real scary guy to talk about the actions of an even scarier guy.
Part-time TV Star and Full-time Fucking Vampire Mehmet Oz Given The Poor And Elderly As ThrallsApr 5, 2025
I swear to god somewhere there is a painting of this man aging backwards.
5 Uses For Peanut Butter From Our Friends At Smucker'sApr 5, 2020
Smucker's in no way endorses this article.
Dips, The Unsung Heroes Of The Food WorldDec 31, 2019
They are a food that can be almost any other food.
Stop Giving Me Shit For Eating Bite-Sized Foods The Way Nature IntendedDec 16, 2019
Bite-sized is a state of mind, really.
Classy Food Reviews - Crispy Tortilla Chicken TendersDec 8, 2019
Hard to fuck up a chicken finger, right?
Expiration Dates Are Basically BullshitDec 2, 2019
Science has cracked the code on food expiration.
Terrible Alcohols and What To Pair Them WithNov 19, 2019
Sometimes, getting drunk is a passion project.
Shut the Fuck Up And Just Drink Tap Water AlreadyNov 15, 2019
Seriously, what the hell are you waiting for.