Soon-to-be King of Atlantis DeSantis Backs Chemtrails Ban - Supervillains Unimpressed

Florida Governor and merman-in-waiting Ron DeSantis has thrown his support behind a proposed bill in the Florida Senate that would put an end to “the injection, release, or dispersion, by any means, of a chemical…for the express purpose of affecting the temperature, weather, climate, or intensity of sunlight”.

While this wide-ranging government overreach is unlikely to have an impact on your average sun praising citizen, we here at Risky.Kitchen pride ourselves on being champions and defenders of the little guy. To that noble end, we sat down with “retired” supervillain, The Potentate, to discuss the potential impact of this proposed bill for those who are just trying to make the world a slightly worse place.

The Potentate: So how do you want to start this?

R.K: First, what do I call you? THE Potentate? Sounds a bit formal. Mr. Potentate? Potentate? Also, where do I stare? Your face is one big amorphous cloud and it's freakin' me out.

Mr. Potentate: Hahaha, please, Mr. Potentate is my father...

R.K: Jesus Christ you really are evil.

Potentate: Sorry, no, Potentate is fine.

R.K: What about Po? Rolly Po-ly? King Po-dora?

Po: Potentate, please.

R.K: Disappointing, but acceptable.

Im-Po-lite: Thank you, anyway, did you want to discuss...

R.K: I would just think that you know, someone in your line of work, would appreciate the OCCASIONAL touch of levity. I mean, you know, given the banality of your day-to-day.

Binya Binya Po-lly Wog: Excuse me, banality?

R.K: Nothing! Anyway, about Florida and their impending ban on something that doesn't actually exist. Or maybe they're just banning planes altogether. Or those sunshade things that go in the windscreens of cars. I don't think they know. I sure as hell don't.

Potent-ially Upset: No, let's go back for a second. Did you call my work banal? You think supervillainy is boring? Do you think what I do is easy?

R.K: Well if you're asking...

Properly PO'd: Yeah, you know what, yeah. I think I am. When I was active I put a LOT of effort into my plots and schemes and I don't appreciate that effort being dismissed out of hand.

R.K: That's just the thing though, isn't it? Plots and schemes. Schemes and plots. "Oh, Mr. The Potentate, what are you working on this morning?" "Just another plot! Might scheme a bit after lunch! So many meetings on a Monday, you know!" How much evil did you actually accomplish in your career?

Back-Podeling: Well I mean, post 9/11 you know, all the 3-letter agencies really started to get their shit together...

R.K: Ohhh sure, blame 9/11. Blame the victims. Class move.

Terrorism A-Po-logist: No, that's not...that's not what I meant at all, it's just...look, can we start over?

R.K: Abs-Po-lutely.

Po-bably Not Coming Back: Thank yo..wait, what the fuck did you just say?

R.K: Hmm? Nothing. So, Florida. Ban on shiny things that can reflect the sun. And plane farts. Or whatever contrails are. Your thoughts?

Po-or Timing, Really: Well I'll tell you one thing...

R.K: That's actually all the time we have! Thank you for meeting with us today...uh...PoPo Baggins?

PoPo Baggins: Fuck you.

R.K: Agreed!